Yesterday when this man wrote me after being personally offe..

Yesterday when this man wrote me after being personally offended by a conversation (actually an entire history) he knows nothing about. A very short chat ensued that the starter of it (him) cut off quickly. He first took very deep offense to me (a person who has only had sex once years ago from losing my virginity in an attack) by not referring to myself as a sex worker. For one if I'm saving myself for marriage how could I tell a guy I haven't been having sex if i was a sex worker? It's like saying you have a vegetarian restaurant that doesn't use anything that harms animals and the industry is called "kill and eat animals workers". It doesn't ring as an accurate descriptor without understanding are sex store store employees sex workers? That help me pick a vibrator based on the ones they and their husband use. Wait... does their husband know they are a sex worker? If I was a doctor or nurse who worked in fertility clinics that would be sex work right? Are the people that sell condoms and vibrators at wallgreens sex workers? If you write novels with any sexuality are you a sex worker only if the 90 percent he doesn't read have no sexuality? Same for animated cartoons? He ultimately decided the criteria is im not rich and even though i get paid more for the not sexual parts that just means they are simps. But I felt horrible last night about this because it made it seem like the part the convo ended on was the most important when it was just the part he responded to first. For my own conscience i have to point out obviously the truly important piece is that if i asked him if he ever watched anyone who had taken anything he may have answered probably. Which is the most painful nerve i could ever hit. And i think I hit a nerve. He thinks he's a "sex industry" expert. So clearly he is identity invested in his beliefs. And the truly craziest part to me is right there when he claims that only some do substances but somehow everyone else he can 100 percent vouch for as only would ever be uninhibited in this one way which is . 1 sex "whatever he means" and 2 being told whatever any man at any time wants to say including they are the father you've never met. But 100 percent they would never do a substance of any kind. He knows this. And I must support that them. Even though I wouldn't put a dime on anyone's use of anything. I have to support that I am completely sure of them definitely not doing that. Because it makes him feel better if they don't. Of course, what kind of a monster would support that. But I can't in good conscience know that. Especially with what I know. It would be like me having to claim i know that no model ever restricts their eating. Especially in the most unhealthy ways. I couldn't claim that. I would be a fool to. But in this regard this "industry"? I would be an absolute fucking monster to put the blinders on to the possibility of that.And im sorry but if you come to me with your psychiatric advice. You better damn well not be comparing me to people who need "helpers".Telling me I'm not "cut out" because I don't take some "help" and get told whatever whenever and not respond ... ya know... like healthy people do. They used to call it taking the "edge" off. I have no artificial way of doing that. It has to come from within. I have to make a place to feel the reality in. Not alter my conscience perception of that reality and how I truly feel about it. Who would want to watch someone that would need to take something to do whatever they are doing? So the denial is needed. But you know me.. that's a nice delusion you got there. Be a real shame if anyone shattered it. I feel I should be proud to not do it. The first things about me sexual ever released were not released here or by me. They were while i was deeply medicated. Words cannot describe the feelings i have when i think about the horror of that. those short clips would seem very innocent if it was here. Because you would know that I'm always and (except for that short time before i was ever on here) was always clean 100 percent. But without knowing that? Someone somewhere could be compairing some other girl to those clips as though i was just me in them as i am .my viewers should be proud that I dont. Everyone viewing me here can have a clean conscience on my page. The best feeling there is. You can tell by my fighting spirit and being a warrior for myself and all others being told to take mistreatment. I believe he doesn't have a clean conscience. It's never too late. Jesus forgives all. Blessings to you. If you come around to wanting to genuinely help people. I am staring a charity so look out for that later. 😘