It's mother's day. I wish I was strong enough to reach out t..
Added 2022-05-08 20:51:17 +0000 UTCIt's mother's day. I wish I was strong enough to reach out to my mom today. But I am very weak after the pain and humiliation of last night after the show. It turns out it was someone who I asked if it was them. They lied to me and actually went so far as to say to leave THEM out of it. Knowing it was THEM at the center of it. I feel like a fool that i believed him and then publicly begged and pleaded for help. When all along i should have just not believed the person too busy demanding to see my vagina more intimately to bother telling me the truth. This person has degraded me in every way. Would write things to me I now realized we're probably intended to get a response to share with the phone call friend. Instead of treating me with respect I have been told by him to do things for him i have not and would not. I am only treated with fake kindness by him while being sexual here and nothing else. I have nothing left to ask them since deception is the only outcome I should expect and he would probably disrespect me more if I was dumb enough to believe him again. To have that kind of darkness infiltrate us here is my own shame. I cried and in my attempt to share my humanity I got treated even more Inhumane. Like a pet that needs to be confered about in confidence. Not a real person. I would say on a show I cried last night. And I would explain how my voice can be effected from it. So I wanted to share it wasn't just words I was saying live. But that I was afraid to go to bed and feel that lonely helpless pain. Because it's real and not just words or a smile. For this. I have been lied to. Disrespected. and made to feel like the only way I could have avoided this is just pretending to be a perfect robot sex doll that only ever says the right programmed responses. I'm not perfect, but I didn't deserve this.
